that day

©Duncan Hall

when the world spins faster to the pace of the just cant stand anymore and balance seems as though its the only unattainable thing, the noise of that one thing you really want to hear goes silent, listless, quiet, in its lackluster deafness of this imagined finale that lies between that which you thought you knew and that which is spoken.  the lies that emanate behind the hidden intentions of the  almost thought truth and there are those words again that sound like the music but feel like the swords that cut so permanently that withstanding the blow becomes this never ending chore, task, challenge and necessity.  self indulged and proposed necessity.  the once thought feasible feat eats and twists in its tormenting tornado volcano of an eruption of never ending ash.  the scorched and burnt falling towards the earth or what remains of the torched flesh and embers float amongst the cool breeze of the stifled wind.  choked and smothered, yet still marching ahead.  the path covered in dirt and grim leads to the cacophonous end 

what are you going to do with your life?

© C-Nirvana

~Julianna in her innocence~

If I knew now what I knew then
I'd wonder how not wonder when
There's something going wrong again
With me and mine
It's only ever what it seems
Memories and might have beens
Heaven's scent: the smell of dreams
We'll never find
Tell me... tell me... tell me...

What are you going to do with your life?
What are you going to do with your life?
What are you going to do?
What are you going to be?
What am I going to do?
I'm going to be me be me be me

If I could see what you can see
The sun still shining out of me
I'd be the boy I used to be
When love was blind
I'd let the light back in again
And walk you to the tunnel's end
I'll be yours and maybe then
You'll be mine
Tell me... tell me... tell me...


I will if you will... follow me down

Echo and the bunnymen- "What are you going to do with your life?"

 a song ill love forever...

last night i dreamt...

The amazing Sarah Ellis

©C-Nirvana

Last night I dreamt
That somebody loved me
No hope, but no harm
Just another false alarm

Last night I felt
real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm


So, tell me how long
Before the last one ?
And tell me how long
Before the right one ?


The story is old - I KNOW
But it goes on
The story is old - I KNOW
But it goes on


Oh, GOES ON
And on
Oh, goes on
And on 


The Smiths

these are the days of our lives

© Justin Lane

sitting in the corner of the brown plaid couch, cuddling with the pillows next to great grandma as little sister sucks her thumb and kneads the turkey flesh of grammy hanner's under arm.   she doesn't mind as her conscious and unconscious mind envelopes the escapades of "days of our lives", slowly progressing through the mediocre, yet some how hard to follow story line of the make believe characters who's lives seem to be never ending, full of drama, ecstasy and disappointment with no resolution until the demise of the character they play, which somehow surpasses normal lifespan or imagination by leaps and bounds.  as i watch and let my mind wander off to my lonely paper dolls with their own far more interesting stories or the pile of pine needles right outside the back door that's left waiting, screaming for my little body to dive right in, i wonder what life would be like in the journey of the make believe.  in this life thats created merely for afternoon entertainment, for those that can bare to watch it, live by it and project their dreams and fascinations in to it, we let our lives trickle away with the mindless drama that ensues between the commercials.


never taking those days seriously but treasuring the memories of wasting time with people that no longer have that opportunity, i pause to wait patiently as the hourglass flips over again for the millionth time in this life.    "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives."  sitting here, working hard or hardly working as the line between the former and the latter blur i listen...


"And the young man looked straight forward.
And he heard the other passengers speaking of other things,
or they were reading or trying to sleep.
And they hadn't noticed the magic.
And the young man put his head to one side,
closed his eyes, and pretended to sleep.

There was nothing else to do,
just to listen to the sound of the engine,
and the sound of the tires
in the snow"


Tom Waits- Nirvana

inspiration

catching corners crooked glances
little touches and sips of wine
late night nudges tip the candle
and with the burnt wick sparkling
the inspiration spins

but not tonight

©Zeitgeist Photography

its tomorrow already, another day's passed
flying by these minutes into hours into
there it goes again.
the past seems so clear when you look ahead


"Oh God, it's raining
And I'm not containing
My pleasure at being
So wet

Here on my own
All on my own
How good it feels to be alone
Tonight

And I haven't felt so alive
In years"


Depeche Mode- off of Black Celebration

bizarre love triangle

©Michael Woodard

"Every time I think of you
I feel a shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
But there's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of the fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
well every day my confusion grows"


New Order- off of Brotherhood

and today

"Learn something new everyday, or life is not worth living"
everyday is worth it, but only memorable if you take something away.  write things down, they stay longer.  lessons can be something simple like where your new favorite coffee spot is in a certain neighborhood or that your best friend doesn't like tomatoes any more, because inevitably, people change.  sometimes faster than we would like, sometimes in ways we didn't expect, sometimes into something we no longer want to know.  but you never know until you try.

Old are the words of wisdom, old
The counsels of the wise and bold:
To close the ears, to check the tongue,
To keep the pining spirit young;
To act the right, to say the true,
And to be kind whate'er you do.


-Robert Louis Stevenson ~ What Man May Learn, What Man May Do

Magician

"I want some magic to sweep me away
Visit on this starlit night
replace the stars the moon the light - the sun's gone
Fly me through this storm
and wake up in the calm ...
I fly right through this storm
and ... I ... Wake ... Up ... In ... The ... Calm"

Lou reed- magician

I sleep better with you...