the only one i want

©CNirvana

hand outstretched waiting for the interlocking grasp
finally combining the intoxicating ecstasy 
as we inch closer to the cocooned existence

feathers flaring three miles high
and your twisted tail wraps round my ankles 
in eager anticipation of floating in that deep pool

the green eyed monster stole me away
into the darkness where the shadows fade to light
and tomorrow never sleeps

im trying to remember the words to 
the lost song,
the one that reverberates in the box
of my dreams,
the one that sounds like sweet heaven
if only i could find the words

caught with my pants down

© JMG

or off

whatever...

oh my lover

© George Pitts

"oh my lover, don't you know it's alright you can love her, 

and you can love me at the same time much to discover, 

i know you don't have the time oh my lover' don't you know it's alright
oh my sweet thing, oh my honey thighs give me your troubles, 

i'll keep them with mine take at your liesure,

 take whatever you can find but oh my sweet thing, 

don't you know it's alright what's that color, 

forming around your eyes? 

waltz my lover, tell me that it's alright just another, 

before you go, go away oh my lover, why don't you just say my name"

PJ Harvey- Oh My Lover, off of Dry

asleep in the back

© Justin Lane

"Were you crushed?
Did I rush you?
All my time is yours
My twisted heart is yours
The faithless shit is yours
The shameless fits of love
That only smother you for moments
'Til I fold them up and leave
All yours"


 "Asleep in the Back"-elbow

who are you?

baby nirvana, 1980

when the looking glass sees through to who you will be will you still fall down the hole to find her?
drink me, slowly now for fear of disappearing entirely
eat me, and you will finally be able to reach that door that you've been looking for
in the garden with the gloved rabbit, that which you once knew will no longer be
the you who arrived has forever changed becoming the you of today
who are you?
truth no longer makes sense


Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is a visually sugar coated extension of the beloved original tale. thirteen years after her first adventure in the fairytale wonderland, she grows to realize that her reoccurring dream is no longer make believe.   she conquers the jabberwocky as only she can do, and her story continues forth out of the pretend world that she once that was all in her head.

"i will  miss you when i wake up"- Alice Kingsley

little things

©CNirvana

the idiosyncrasies of this relationship tied with that one and that little thing you forgot to say

the omitted conversation with said forgotten person, is he really gone?

the dishes left soaking in the sink next to the coffee pot still on fire

the single rose that made me smile for weeks longer than the bouquet you bought last time we fought

the words that seem insignificant that dive deeper than the strongest swimmer

the conversation that lasted from dawn until dusk, every word remembered

the song you wrote for me because you just didnt know what to say

the way our eyes meet from across the room and the rest of the world disappears

little things make the biggest difference

Nirvana

©JMG

once upon a time there was a little girl. surrounded in a world of the ending of an era. drugs and rock and roll ruled the world, mixed with greed and money or the lack there of.

in a little town called altus, OK, my parents created a band aptly named Nirvana. in the bliss of their new family, great friends and mind-fucked merriment they played hard.  i found the original candace sized t-shirt baring the band name, circa 1980.  faded from its original golden hue, worn well in the days before my excessive wardrobe.   the band broke up shortly after but somehow the shirt still fits, relatively speaking.  the memories from those days i 've constructed from the stories i heard.  mom and dad tend to revel in the long gone days, when life was simple and they were young.  not being much of a story teller myself, i relish in those memories and treasure them as being part of what made me who i am today.

a few months ago, a new friend gave me a t-shirt.  same name, entirely different, far more recognizable band from Seattle.  it wasn't until after the craze of the Nirvana fanaticism and the days of grunge that i could listen to Kurt Cobain and his band and truly appreciate their music.  mom and dad,  in their lame attempts at stardom could not come close to the lyrical genius and musical prowess of the second coming.

so with the new shirt, a bit oversized and without the attached memories, hanging off my body in sharp contrast to the teeny one from long ago, i had an idea.   pairing the two, the story comes full circle.

i wanted to capture the shirts with their inherent stories on film.  one photographer came to mind.   A music aficionado and fantastic story teller, James Graham brought his film, cameras, his lighting mixed with JMG magic and the wine.  he captured my intent as well as creating yet another story of his own.

"I need an easy friend
I do, With an ear to lend
I do, Think you fit this shoe
I do, But DO you have a clue?"


"about a girl" off of Bleach- Kurt Cobain

still moving

flicker, fade, run to hide
this memory screams louder than the noise of that missed subway train

waiting on silence
as the dissapearing act begins
lost in the city of millions
cloaked in the obvious disguise

look left, turn right
as the Q train approaches with it's humming purr, it's gentle rumble rubs just the right spot

sitting surrounded by the sucked me in
wishing for that finish of the hot shower cleansing me of the city filth

pretty girl, long lost boy, innocence perpetuated in the miniature I heart NYC cap. has he lost his soul yet or is he still disillussioned enough to dream?

lights whiz by, glances turn away
fingers gingerly strumming the keys of the mini almost computer
"Do not lean on the door"
trouble lurks outside the gap

gap between the breathing dragon and the one may never know
the hunger gnawing at the rotting esophagus

and she paws at the corner of the music video distracing the journey to her magical land of cherub faced kisses