July 12, 2010

future past

baby candace and her little sister, 1980

"I have this theory that I'll die someday, so I don't want to miss anything" he says.  

the soldier, sailor, artist, daddy repeats to himself in front of me.  which job is most important?  which will be the most remembered?  which is the most important to him?  all that really matters.  "there she goes my beautiful world"  nick cave is a magician, a poet and a dream creater...   i wait patiently to meet his little man and capture the moment of daddy with his new shadow, partner, flesh and blood.  those seconds are the things that never die.  

today i went to breakfast and sat in a diner by myself, listening to really great 50's bands and music that makes me smile.   when i left, i gave a single dollar to a man on the corner.  he responded with the most genuine heart felt smile i may ever see.  i've felt that endless, unrequited love before.  i've seen that look in eyes that have no home.  

that moment, i will keep forever.

that smile, may have changed me as a person.  i need that hope.  i need that need outside of myself because without that... thing, the little thing, we are self involved pigs that swallow our own souls and die alone.  without that moment of hesitation that stops us on the street corner, life itself may be lost.  don't lose that moment.  it may be the one right before the bus full of fat people....

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