paper bag

© Zoe Wiseman- Todos Santos, MX

so he says we're all the same

only the names have changed

repeating the monotony

i'm excited in my calm

between the strokes of madness

and pill popping candy show

and we converge on this point where all trains stop

stop motion video watches every move 

as we sits idly by, watching time fly

she will tell you the way, when you stop to listen

she's been there before

and returned with more than just the right answers

truth

i overhear his beats pulsing mildly beside me

bored in my bound paper bag

and watching as he exhales

this hole is just small enough 

to let the last remaining breath escape

unkept

still held

careful

©CNirvana

model: the ever perfect Red~

I only drive too fast on roads that require attention

great care to swerve to the right

then back to the left

debating with this necessity to slow down

watching carefully as the arrows point in the wrong direction

maybe I am a figment of your imagination

but sometimes I feel far too real

this trajectory for all others

stagnating the one who needs it most

I put myself to bed for fear of need to sleep

and as the clocks fall back

my dreams fly forward

I'll never hold you again like that day

almost perfect

© CNirvana

so I concede to ride in the back seat, hands crossed neatly in my lap

lazily laid back 

with the wind of the night air blowing the delicate curl past my ear

it feels good

brushing against my cheek

tickling the nape of my neck 

those delicate tendrils

I miss my fingers in your hair

and as the doctor tells me so

I lock myself in the bathroom,

whisper only to those that can hear

and bid the world goodnight

the only one I need will

never leave

perfect still doesn't exist

gone so long

© BB

sitting sipping all the wrong flavors 

and filling spaces, not intending

moving through the paper cup to the 

lips, mine

yours

waiting around for you

again

and still perpetuating this line of focus

holding the fill line to the point of spillage

tip the cup

and it all over flows

sorry to keep you waiting

i know you always will

follow me home

because this song tells you to

and try as we might, we will always agree

on the right tune

you caught me

©CNirvana

random stream of consciousness
pause
when you actually start to listen, i start to not say

here's how it works...
ready?
set, go

i don't know what more to ask for
all that you give is all that i get
just what i need and
all i could want

poignant song on repeat
yeah i'm talking to you

i cant hear you through
all my distraction
but you are all that i am

windswept

©CNirvana

~Sophie~

this gentle blowing breeze dropped me 
right in front of you, purposeful intent


making momentary monumental seem like already forgotten 
she watched me walk away as i began
falling behind on making forward progression


this noise you make, like hissing air
let me fill your void
that one you never knew was there


we missed the show, as we always do
not to worry though
the encore is always more satisfying

believe the hype

©CNirvana

ever had the moment when you know your world will change?
ever felt more connected to a person based on a single sentence?
ever learned a lesson that you thought you didn't need?
ever tripped and fell and realized the bruise just didn't hurt?
ever changed a life?

pick one.  or try them all...

Still reeling from my workshop with Joyce Tenneson, one of my photographic idols and an amazing teacher.  One week of my life, kick started the rest.

to be continued...

the photograph

This week i surround myself with like minded artists and talent grander than
words can surround.  I'm continually inspired by the images i see and
intrigued by the stories behind them.  Any photograph that i remember 
for more than a moment, has a resonance based on the 
emotive impact that it holds for me.  


Tonight I sat and watched an immensely, emotionally charged
presentation from Sam Abell,who's work i've admire since his 
National Geographic days.  Iconic is a word that could describe 
the imagery he produces.  But more than that, is the fact that he's an excellent teacher.
Possibly one of the best 30 minute presentations I've seen thus far
in my life.  


He showcased some of his most widely published shots and paired them 
with the shots leading up to the one.  Watching the light, changing the angle, waiting for
that perfect moment.  


"Setting, expression, gesture.  That's all there is", according to Mr. Abell. He proves it with
photographs that literally brought me to tears.


He also touched on his book, "Stay This Moment".  
Titled, based on the reference of Virginia Woolf's words, "If one does not lie back and sum up and say to the moment, this very moment, stay you are so fair, what will be one's gain, dying? No: stay, this moment. No one ever says that enough." 


A truer statement, never there was...


Above all, it's hard learning to live with vivid mental images of scenes I cared for and failed to photograph. It is the edgy existence within me of these unmade images that is the only assurance that the best photographs are yet to be made. - Sam Abell, Stay This Moment : The Photographs of Sam Abell by Sam Abell


I leave this note with no image.  tomorrow i may have created one worth showing.


For more info on how to work with the masters and explore the spectacular beauty of the local countryside, check out Maine Media Workshops.   I can say with just a taste so far, its worth it.


Thanks LK.  You mean the world to me...

quiet

©Yoram Roth

NYC

the orchestrated flow of sound

gently fills the air

as all the night owls 

close their eyes

the world is quick to fall asleep

inconsequential dissonance breaking up the quiet

so we wait for dawn

another day

when all the noise will go

away

these words slip out without a sound
with hesitated awkwardness making pause
i know you've missed me
yet this distance still grows

farther now, yet close between
just one more reach to
take it all away

this telephone cord that binds my ankles,
cutting that all important flow
one more step and i may fall

twisted merriment swimming in swamp water
with that lasting phrase flipping circles in this shallow pond

where does it all stop
and when does it begin?

lost not found

©Chip Willis

a card full of memories
swallowed by the abyss of the erasure
lost but only slightly faded

covered in dirt and riddled with chills
she waits to find it all

an impossible mission
dauntingly forgettable
never mind the unended-ness

she gallops off into the darkness
with determined hope
and realistic fear

GWC

i've been working on my portraits.  i think i'm getting better.  still just a girl with a camera...

finally

I've been focusing fully on my other "self" lately, shooting lots of pretty pictures of munchkins, hot chicks and commercial jobs.  In the midst, I have bordered on ignoring the model me that is currently featured in Carrie Leigh's NUDE.  8 pg spread with work from some of my favorites, Vernon Trent, Dave Aharonian, April-Lea Hutchinson to name a few.   The article's not bad either.  To quote a friend "I learned some new things about you."  Lots of questions answered...

A fantastic art publication that seems to be published quarterly but missed its mark for this issue.  Nonetheless, its available now.  Seemingly only through the website, so its my duty to post it here!  

Go here for your Current Issue of NUDE  Get one, you'll like it.  Get two and ill sign it :)

on the road

©CNirvana

Finished it.  

the book.  this leg of the journey. 

heading home.

for a day, maybe two.

alone in another hotel room, i entertain myself...

Looking

© zvaal

Looking for something you'll never find

Searching for something you just can't see

Waiting for something just right

Content with right now

Perfect...

All you'll ever need.

sometimes

©Rogier Jansen- NYC

you're right.  this one is just about you...

last sleep

© April-Lea

'you're pretty in the dark' is all i can muster

as i watch you sleeping peacefully

and the light of day creeps in to break our silence

i can't sleep again

my head hurts from all the circles 

i've been running

in my dreams

my eyes water as my head throbs

with the weight of this lovestruck hangover 

often too much to bear

the wishing wanting waiting worried

that I may miss you more than most 

is what weighs heaviest on my 

burdened soul

sighing, in the breathless air

just to feel you breathe again, 

your wind on my cheek 

and breeze in my hair

longing to be wrapped within the strength of your arms

whisper in your ear

as you hold me tight enough to let me fall asleep

what i really miss

chicks rule!

©Zoe Wiseman

there's this energy and enthusiasm when i get to work with another female, whether its in front or behind the lens.  i feel a sense of sisterhood, empowerment and all that shit that sounds made up.  its there, its easier.  there's this thing that's removed when its two ladies creating art.  i love what i do, internally, creatively, inherently.  it shows, i hope.  and when i collaborate with someone as talented on both sides of the lens as well, well... its this!!!

in a matter of moments, we create these things that just work.  floor, hallway, light and dark.  half hour later.  yeah, we're done.  satisfied.

here's a few more, courtesy of zoe wiseman.  look her up.  she's rad!

another day

©Malcolm Grant

in the mix of monotony and variety that my life has become to be, sometimes i have a shoot that consists of a few consecutive minutes.  these minutes compound, mixed with friendly banter, humorous interaction and often pure delight in the connection with the photographer and congeal into a sequential hour.  and by the end of that hour its time to have a beer.

sometimes those few moments are just enough.  to date, my shortest shoots with some of my favorite people have produced the greatest results.  here are a few from an hour of one of my last days in sydney.  i left my heart there.  ill be back soon

more soon from another shoot with my good friend, zoe wiseman... about 30 minutes of our lives completed, finished with an equally satisfying massage.  yeah my life is that great. be jealous.

happiness is

© CNirvana

the three sisters- Katoomba, NSW

enjoying a sweltering hot day in the crispness of a refreshing waterfall

gazing out at the sunset with my naked feet 
planted firmly in the sand, 
where I always long to be


casually running into a bouncing kangaroo, your curiosity is as much as mine

sitting peacefully in the freshly cut grass and
watching the most beautiful birds flap their wings as they sing to me
i've never heard a song as sweet


wandering along a treelined path with the fragrant aroma of eucalyptus filling the air
i take that smell home with me but its never the same

riding the back of a motorbike 
holding tightly as we twist down the windy road
watching the world fly by


hiking through the bush, traversing the most interesting the terrain
with the gentle dewey raindrops splashing my cheeks

peering out into the distance, amongst the trees
as far as the eye can see
surrounded by towering peaks of powerful rocks 
that seemingly climb for clouds

wandering arm in arm through the effervescent, always entertaining nightlife of the city as it twinkles, sparkles and fades to sleep



 just a few happiest moments of the land that captured me
australia take me back, and keep me...
thank you to all my friends, new and old for making my adventure the best yet.  next time may be longer.

Breathless

© CNirvana
my muse-jessamyn

looked into the crystal blue of her glowing eyes and all I could smell was roses
how does one get so sweet?

she lay twisted in the light of the sun
gazing, as she does
moving like the song stuck in my mind that always sings me to sleep

and as i dreamt of a time before her
the rest of my memories disappeared
this is all I want to remember

don't worry

© Cameron Attree

brisbane, QLD

i've made it through.  brisbane didn't swallow me nor any of my friends.  it didn't even rain.
i am lucky, warm and dry, for as long as i can.
living life as a tourist in western australia this week then heading back to where i may stay.
ill be home eventually, when i find my way.

some people weren't as lucky as i am.  to help those desperately in need that have lost please donate to the efforts.  a little can go a long way.  they are cleaning up slowly but the damage is harsh.

http://www.qld.gov.au/floods/donate.html

every bit is appreciated.

waiting

© CNirvana

model: elizabeth- GOR, VIC 2011

driving along the great ocean road
where the earth meets the sand
in the distance the world evaporates 
swallowed by the seemingly endless fog


blending earth to air
in the middle they meet, and then disappear
he takes the wheel and let's me steer 
as we wind around the twisted road to the end of nowhere 

his waiting keeps waited 
as we wander the roadways in search of the perfect shot
sprinkled with fairy dust and twinkled with mystery
hidden behind the last curve 


is what we've been searching for 

Quiet still

© carsten burmeister- Sydney, NSW

it rains backwards
on the reversal of the sun
tiny droplets flying up

i sing this song a little louder this time
not so that you can hear me,
but so that I will listen

and waiting for the quiet of night,
the solitude of darkness
when the world of spiders nests
can calmly rest

inspired by softness
motivated by glow
i close my eyes,
to really let the light in

Bucket list

Checking it off
Dreams are good, reality is better
Call your mom, she misses you

Happy 2011.