but i want it

©CNirvana

where i want to be...

i sit here at my laptop in another room far from home.  awake too early because i couldn't force myself to stay awake long enough to trick my body.  the warm, cozy bed oh so tempting behind me. but im awake now, wide awake.  so awake that it hurts.  so i continue working, editing, emailing, listening... to sad songs.  hmmm.  jetlag has consumed me since i still haven't figured out what day it is or where i am or if this is where i should be.  i suppose that part doesn't really matter since this is where i am.  

the complicated balance between want and need is what wakes me up everyday.  i need to work to pay the mortgage.  i need to work to keep me sane i think, but what is it that i want to do?  i want to sleep longer and read more and sit and talk with those i love.  those i need in my life.  because i do need them...