October 29, 2009

time to go

©David Gilliver- melbourne

i awake today after a nightmarish sleep with dreams full of frightening visions and pieces of reality twisted in the most awful ways. time to write. there are a lot of things that need to be said out loud. often i leave them to the pen because i can say everything that i want to say, not worry about forgetting that important detail or letting emotions get in the way, cause i do that, a lot. i listen to the words of PJ harvey. her voice vibrates the air and makes me think in other directions. feel things i thought i had lost. magical.

have you ever wanted a do-over? a chance to live one way, potentially mess it up and do it all again? press the delete button and go back to the top. i get to live today twice. once in the city i love and then again in one i loathe. longest day of my life and not at all a good one, even if it technically is. the adventure continues in lalaland where reality blurs but i work a lot. work is good for now. i had an interesting conversation with a photographer in LA about her extended stay in the city, feeling trapped and losing her soul. the city of soul suckers. pretty on the surface and empty underneath. sigh.

sydney, my love, ill see you again soon... not soon enough but all good things come to those who wait, right? right...


  1. There are soul suckers in every city. Oddly enough I found the majority of soul suckers in Indiana, NOT Los Angeles. LA really gets a bad rap. After being here for 8 years now, after thinking exactly as you've written, my mind has changed. Sure, there are shallow people, but they are everywhere. Real, genuine and loyal people also reside in Los Angeles. You just have to find them, just like you would anywhere else. At this moment in my life, I can't imagine living anywhere else... even Australia... I can definitely see a winter home there though (sigh). But, my love for LA and California is grand. ;) Plus, where the fuck are you going to find a Starbucks in OZ anyway? I can't hack! LOL

  2. There were plenty of starbucks until a few months back. They went bust. There are still a few around the place though.

  3. and then there are those days that you wake up with the sun in your eyes and the winter far away and sunny california aint so bad...